Wigging Out

Here I am, 11 months from my last chemotherapy session and I still wear a scarf when I’m out in public. It’s not that my hair is too short for my liking. It could be 1/8th inch long, but as long as it covered my scalp I would gladly go out into the world with my head uncovered. It’s that I still have more scalp showing than not. Not even a Donald Trump comb-over would allow me to pass for someone with a head full of hair.

  

Although I don’t mind wearing scarves, now that I’ve finished chemo and my yearlong herceptin infusions, I would like to feel as though I look normal and don’t still look like a cancer patient. It doesn’t help that my eyebrows and eyelashes have pretty much lost all the pigment they once had! 

One way I could look normal would be to purchase a wig. However, I made a decision early on in my treatment that a wig was not for me, and I opted for scarves instead. Once I got over being self-conscious about being easily recognizable as a cancer patient, I found the ease, comfort and colorfulness of the scarves suited me fine. They weren’t itchy or terribly hot, as I’ve heard wigs are. But now there’s a new wrinkle. I’m in the process of looking for a part-time job and although it’s not legal for employers to discriminate against me because of my cancer, you can’t really help how people feel deep down about hiring someone who has clearly been ill. In the interview or two I’ve had, I try to be up front about my cancer and to explain that I’m done with treatment and am fine, except for the return of my hair. I do this because the interviewer can’t legally ask about my health, and I want to allay anxiety about whether I’m well enough to work, or will miss a lot of work because of illness. Nonetheless, who’s to say that my preemptive strike has the desired effect?

I’ve had several friends and professionals tell me that although it shouldn’t matter, I have a better chance of landing a job if there is no sign that I have been ill in the first place. I’m torn. I would like - need, actually - to be working again and want to do everything I can to get a job, but I’m not eager to go against my well-considered decision to pass on a wig. I’d like to think that a potential employer would see past my recent health history and would recognize the value I could add to their operation. Perhaps that’s too idealistic on my part, but I think I’d prefer to work for someone who would hire me despite the scarf.  Time will tell, whether I give in or hold firm, but what would be most helpful would be for my reticent hair to pick up speed and fill in the gaps a good bit faster!